Feelings; Gifts That Enrich Our Lives: In NEED of a FEELINGS Tune Up?

Most of us are more aware of the condition of when the oil needs changing in our car or other care items- washing or tire rotation than we are aware of the feelings we are carrying. The importance of feelings frequently gets overlooked as to their significance in our mental and physical health. In this article I will challenge you to take a moment to assess how aware you are of your feelings and ask if you can express them. This process is a matter of selecting feeling words that best fit the identified feeling.

When our feelings are freely expressed it can be likened to when children are free to be children. They are free to feel, to run about the playground laughing, chasing and teasing one another. Being free to love, be loved, to make mistakes, to forgive, to be forgiven, free to dream and move into one’s dreams are qualities of an emotionally heathy child. People tend to be drawn to those whose feelings are available and openly expressed. Others tend to move away from those with flat affect or who display depressed feelings. Being free to feel and express one’s feelings tend to go hand and hand with being able to build connections, to achieve big dreams, to know what one wants and more likely to attract others to their cause. Others feel a connection.

Below I will assist you in discovering how at ease you are with naming your feelings and at being able to express them. This short training begins with recognizing that while there might be hundreds if not thousands of feeling words, we can condense this list down to 8 core or primary feeling words. These are: joy, fear, pain, sadness, lonely, shame, guilt, anger.

Each of these has a gift. In the following, I will name the feeling and follow that with an indication of the gift: 

1. Joy-to celebrate life and accomplishments

2. fear-to avoid danger 

3. pain-there is a hurt needing attention

4. sadness-there is a loss to grieve

5. lonely-reminds of how much we miss others  

6. shame-we made a social error

7. guilt-be careful, we might have to break a law, that might come with serious consequences

8. anger-facing a serious impasse and it’s a call for the energy to get through it

The test is a simple one. In response to these key words: my family, job, future, my community. Note what feelings come to your mind first when you think of the key word? Complete this sentence, “When I think of (key word), what feeling or feelings come up?”

When you are finished, be honest. Did the feeling words come or were you hesitant or did they not come at all? Ask yourself, “How did I do?” Let your answer be your guide if you are fine or in need of a tune-up? If you are in need of additional information, I have a training packet just for you in Appendix A Becoming Free.